April 28, 2004 - 11:25 a.m.

The following story will definitely show that I am a complete and utter moron who does not deserve to breed.

Do NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES have a party for a teenager and if you do not heed my warning DO NOT try to relax with beer at your own child�s party.

Ms. Popular wanted to have a birthday party for her 14th birthday. She invited about 15 friends. The party was scheduled from 7:00 pm to 11:00 pm.

I told the heathens when after most of them had arrived that they needed to respect that other people in the apartments may not appreciate loud ass teenagers. There were some kids swimming and some stayed in and listened to music, ate, and played games on our computers.

As anyone with teenagers knows, parents should be seen and not heard. I was playing Mahjongg on my computer during the party and after every 3 or 4 games would come out to check on them all during the party. 3 or 4 games of Mahjongg lasts about 10 or 15 minutes so that was my measuring tool for checking on the kids. I also had my shades open so that I could keep an eye on the kids at the pool.

I also went out if there was too much noise or if it started to get too quiet. At 10:00 pm I told April to tell everyone to get out of the pool and come in the apartment and to keep it down to a mild roar as I do have neighbors.

At about 10:30 it seemed to get quiet so I came back out to see what was going on. That�s when I saw a couple of policeman and a man in an orange shirt was at my door asking who was to oldest person there. I said I was and he proceeded to scream at the kids that if someone didn�t confess that they were all going to get citations.

While I was trying to find out what had happened, another officer just walked into my apartment and started opening drawers, looking in my freezer, etc.

I went to where the officer was and he asked me if the beer cans in the trashcan in my room were all mine. I answered yes. He then stomped from the room. (I didn�t realize it at the time but I now think he thought I was providing beer to the kids at the party!!) I may be an idiot for having a teenage party but I do not EVER let kids drink. Period.

I come back outside and find that Ms. Popular�s best girl friend and one boy confessed to having busted out about 5 windows of the common area of my building.

The boy and girl received citations and then another boy (whom I realized later had invited himself to the party) had kicked the windows and then implicated boy and girl.

The cops talked to parents that were starting to arrive. The cops told me that they wished they could find some reason to press charges against me and that some of the parents wanted me charged.

The kids all went home. Ms. Popular is clueless about the kind of trouble I could have been in because of this.

The next day (Sunday) I went to the office to explain my side but they were closed. Monday there was a note on my door that I was in violation of the lease and I needed to call the office. The violations were - unsupervised children, vandalism, and excessive noise. So, I called the office and they wanted to tell me that the kids that vandalized the windows were going to have to pay restitution. I assured them that there would not be anymore teenage parties at my apartment.

Whew! I have my parental decisions head up my ass but I�m not evicted.

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